A Day in the Life of Spider-Man
by MrAce531
Summary: Ever wondered what a day in the life is like for Peter Parker, aka, Spider-Man? Well, now you can. Through the eyes of Peter, you'll discover his wild dreams, his troubles with girls and Flash Thompson, what it's like fighting a super-villain everyday and his never-ending parade of thoughts. Rated T for mild violence, sexual references and a swear word.


**A Day in the Life of Spider-Man**

_"Peter, you are the greatest" says MJ._

_"Oh ,I know" I say. I start speaking in a french accent. "Mary, madam, you are ze most beautiful woman that ever existed on this earth. Your hair as red as fire and your skin as white as snow." _

_"Oh, Peter, you really are as charming as they say. I had no idea why I was wasting my time dating that boring old Flash Thompson when I could've been with you." We continued dancing on the cliff as we said our vows and embraced._

_ And kissed._

_Her lips tasted of strawberries._

_"Mmm, strawberries" I say, licking my lips._

_"Want another taste, though you would, er, have to lick more deeper into my mouth this time-"_

**_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP_**

Dang, the stupid alarm clock. Just when I was having the best dream of my life.

"Breakfast is ready, dear" says Aunt May. "I've made your favourite, French toast and strawberries."

Well, I can never say no to that.

"Coming" I say. I quickly change into my geeky looking clothing and then rush off downstairs. People may think I'm quiet, or nerdy, or whatever, but quite frankly, that's who I am. Dang, I forgot to put on my Spidey costume under my clothing. Well, I better get changed again.

I sit down at the table and eat my breakfast. It's just me and Aunt May. As soon as I finish, I head straight on out.

"Bye, Aunt May."

"Bye, Peter."

I was about to reach the bus when I heard a mugging in the distance somewhere. Dang, this always happens! It's so friggin' frustrating. I head to a nearby alley and suit up into Spider-Man, webbing my clothing beside a garbage can. I then web-sling away to the alley with the mugging. You'd think they have better things to do.

"Not so fast, dumb-heads" I say. I can never resist a good crack or one-liner.

"It's Spider-Man!" Says one of the thugs. There were three of them.

"Oh, Spider-Man? Where, where? Oh, me? Nah, of course I'm Spider-Man. Who were you expecting? The Exterminator?!" I fight each of them one-on-one. Believe me, these thugs are always easy to beat. You'd think they'd learn that by now. Morans.

"Thanks, Spider-Man" says the woman.

"No problem, just try to be more careful next time." I always say that. I'm not an international speech person, you know?

I finally make it to school, ten minutes late. Not good for a top-A student, huh?

"Mr. Parker. Late again." It's Ms. Whimsy, my English teacher.

"I'm sorry Ms. Whimsy, it won't happen again, I promise." That was a lie.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." Man, she can read my mind.

_An hour or two later_

It's second period, now, and we have history. We're learning about the French revolution. Man, in the olden days in France, you could have you head chopped off just for being rich. Incredible.

All of a sudden, my Spider-Sense warns me of an incoming attack.

I duck.

A ball of paper then hits Mr. Pecker in the face. I feel the urge to laugh. The funny thing is, Mr. Pecker knew immediately who threw the ball of paper: Flash.

"Eugene Fitzgerald Thompson. If I have to write you up for class interruption one more time, you will be moved to detention. Do I make myself clear?" Says Mr. Pecker.

"Yes, sir" says Flash. He turns his head down. I could hear people laughing at him. I guess Flash doesn't like being called by his full real name. I don't care though, he deserved it. Spider-Powers, I love you!

_Lunchtime_

It's lunchtime. Aunt May always packs me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I am then approched by a very angry looking Flash Thompson. He grabs me.

"You try that again, then there will be stumps where your feet should be, you got that, you wimpy little bitch." To be honest, Flash sounded really stupid saying that.

I retaliated.

"Well, at least I'm not as blonde and thick-headed as you, Eugene." I really wish I hadn't have said that.

**_SMACK _**

Flash had given me a hard punch across the face. I'm used to it, though. I mean, I fight crime. I was then approached by MJ. That lifted up my spirits.

"Peter!" She says. She helps me up. "Are you OK" she asks me.

"Er, I.. I'm fine, th.. thank you." I get nervous around girls, especially ones I like.

" Shame on you Flash" she says, dragging him by the ear. I have to admit, that girl has strength. Honestly, I don't know what she sees in him.

_Library_

"Are you sure you're okay?" Debra asks me.

"I'm fine" I say. "I cleaned myself up in the bathroom."

"Well, I think you shouldn't have talked back to him" she says.

"What, do you expect me to just stand there and take it like a wimp?"

"No, Peter, I just meant... Oh, never mind. Come on, let's go study."

_Afterwards_

Well, the rest of the day was quite normal. I had third period, recess, then fourth period, then finished. I usually web-sling home as Spider-Man.

It beats taking the bus.

I was on my way home when...

**_BOOM_**

Really? A building had just blown up. You'd think people would show some respect and not blow up a building, what, with September eleven and all. Luckily, the building was being renovated and no one was inside.

"He's here!" said a frantic citizen. What now? A giant lizard? A human octopus? A pissed-off bug? A crime boss who spends his free time eating hamburgers and fries?

**_ZAP_**

A streak of electricity hit me. That's when I realized who the villain for today was:

Electro.

You know, I think there's a pattern here. Seriously, you'd think these villains would have something better to do with their time. So who's tomorrow? Hydro-Man? Sandman? You know, if the Sandman and Hydro-Man work together, then they can form a nice mud monster, then I can send them to the farm for the pigs to play in.

"You'll never defeat me, Spider-Man!"

"Oh, yeah? " That does it, I'm taking the bus next time.

**_BOOM, SMACK, BANG, CRASH, ZAP,POW, KABOOM!_**

There. Electro's defeated. Problem solved. I'm then approached by Flash Thompson.

"Can I please have your autograph, Spider-Man?"

Oh, man.

_Meanwhile..._

I then head on home.

On the bus.

I find Aunt May making dinner. She's got guests tonight. Anna and her niece Mary-Jane. Great, my secret crush is having dinner in my house tonight. Everyone overhears the news of the fight between Spider-Man and Electro.

"That awful Spider-Man has teamed up with that awful Lightning Guy" says Aunt May. Aunt May hates Spider-Man.

Just another day in the life of Peter Parker, aka, Spider-Man.

**Ok, that's the end of the story. It's short, but, yet again, it's a parody. Sort of. Anyway, please review and I hope you liked the story.**

**MrAce531 :)**

**ps. If you're interested, please go on my profile and check out my Spider-Man fanfic "Spider-Man Reborn." It's not a humour or parody or anything, it's more of a drama. It's more serious and that. I've written six chapter for it. It's a work-in-progress. Thanks.**


End file.
